I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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