yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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