um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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