I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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