is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
