come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
