In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
