Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
