I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
