So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
