worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
