We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
