Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
