You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize