Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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