i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
