Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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