well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize