end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
