I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
