Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
