do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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