I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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