piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
