WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
