You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
