I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
