Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
