I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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