Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
