after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
