4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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