I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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