I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
