The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
