Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
