I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
