I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
