I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize