you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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