I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
