Swine flu is the new snow day.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So much rum. So many feels.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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