I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
