I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize