He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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