Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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