spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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