Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
