maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize