She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
