It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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