I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
