The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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