I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
