Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
