Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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