I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
