i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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