i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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