the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
