Acid is not a monday night drug
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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