I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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