There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
