I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
