Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
