I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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