the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
