he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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