So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish you could order shots online.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
