Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
