a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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