Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
