She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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