its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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