Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
