What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I need to align my fucking chakras
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
