Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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