FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
